Blog Post

Bullying & Back to School Confidence

Welcome to pure simple confidence podcasts everyone! I’m your podcast host Sandee Lea and this is Episode 4 sharing about having back to school confidence and how to deal with bullying! This podcast is about choosing to live a life from a place of confidence and love instead of letting fear and insecurity be in control. Pure simple confidence is a place for me to share with everyone things about my own personal journey and to share tools and thought processes, I have learned and experienced through-out the years, helping me not to live from a place of fear, but from a place of confidence and love instead. I am so grateful that you have chosen to listen to this podcast and to learn more about having pure simple confidence. Today I’m going to be discussing having back to school confidence and how to respond when you are being bullied.

It’s August and it is that time of year when school is back in session. I raised three children and I’m happy to share all of them have graduated from college and are now living happy and productive lives! But, trust me the years of helping them through school emotionally was much more challenging than any homework assignment they ever brought home! I’m sure many of you listening today can relate to this statement.

You see, its often times the things that will break our hearts and hurts are feelings that we find it hard to keep our emotions intact and to feel good about ourselves. Kids and adults can be so cruel to one another. Bullying as we know is on the rise. Bullying not only happens in school but it usually starts in our homes with our own families. As adults, we experience bullying in our workplaces and all ages can be impacted with bullying on social media. Even just going to the mall to go shopping there are people bullying others just over a parking space. Really!! It’s crazy how cruel people can be and yes it starts at a very young age.

The effects that bullying has on a child carries over into their adult life if it isn’t confronted at a young age. I remember all three of my children were bullied at school. As a parent, it’s hard to see your own child picked on, or left out, or spoken to in a very negative derogatory tone. One way to combat against being bullied is having confidence. When you react in a way that the bully isn’t expecting it, let’s just say it puts out their flame. They know they can’t harm you emotionally or physically. The worst thing you can do is to ignore it, the best way is to confront them rationally and calmly. 

I share with others whether it is a child or an adult being the bully, it’s important for us to remember they just didn’t decide to be a bully they were taught how to be that way and usually it is from how they were treated by someone older than them. Whether it was a parent, teacher, sibling, acquaintance someone taught the bully that behavior. Bullies are afraid themselves and lack in confidence. So, when you confront a bully with confidence, they don’t know how to react but will back down in most cases.

On another topic, the first day of school or starting at a new school can be another very scary thought. But, remember being scared is a thought, that creates a feeling of fear, that feeling is then felt in your body in many different ways. For instance, a racing heart, sweaty palms, upset stomach, or many, other physical sensations. The first thing to do is to recognize that you are thinking thoughts that are creating fear instead of thinking of happy thoughts. Using the whatif thought process, what if the night before you went to bed with thoughts of anticipating meeting new friends and learning all kinds of new and exciting things. Also having thoughts of gratitude for receiving an education. The next morning you woke up feeling excited and feeling sure of yourself. You went to school and you met new friends, liked your teachers, and are excited about the new school year ahead. All sounds simple right!! 

Ok, now let’s look at this another way. Let’s say you went to school and you started your day off feeling positive and sure of yourself. Confident in every way. Then it came time for PE class and you were playing volleyball for the first time and you couldn’t get the ball over the net and your teammates started joining they were losing patience with you and started whispering behind your back. 

When you went to the locker room everyone looked away from you and no one spoke to you the rest of the day. Inside you feel horrible. It’s a natural feeling to have when others reject you. But rejection and comparison are the two things that can break our confidence just like that if we let it! Hear me again, IF WE LET IT!! 

In this situation or something similar to this, remember how others treat you isn’t your fault no matter if you hit the ball over the net or not. You are perfect just the way you are. Hitting the ball over the net doesn’t make you any more or any less great in life. When others decide to treat you poorly that is about them and their lack of acceptance for themselves it has absolutely nothing to do with you. The best way to be in a situation like that is to know that somethings we are good at and come easy for us and other things are more of a challenge. Forget about your weaknesses, manage them and put your energy into developing what you are strong at. You get to decide how you will let others have an effect on your thoughts and feelings.

I know I make this sound easy, but this thought process does take time and practice, but in time it will become a natural thought process for you. You will not only be confident in school but outside of school as well. Every day you will wake up feeling sure of yourself and trusting 100% in yourself. Remember it’s not what others think about you, it’s about what you think of YOU.

Some key things to remember as you start back to school and not to leave home without are:

  • First and foremost remember being confident is the most popular personality trait to have and makes you the most attractive person. It isn’t the clothes you wear, your hairstyle, how smart or athletic you are. It is how confident you are in ALL circumstances!
  • Second, remember when you are rejected or compared by others, this is a sign of their own lack of confidence in themselves. It has absolutely nothing to do with you. Not everyone is going to like you, and that is OK! It doesn’t mean there is anything wrong with you. It’s about them not you.
  • Practice kindness always! Often times when we are treated poorly by others through their speech or actions, this clearly indicated they do not like themselves. Be kind to them anyways, look for what they do well and share that with them. Give everyone no matter how they treat you a sincere, heart-warming compliment. When we find good in others, that reflects the person who you are.  

So, are you ready for that first day of school? If you would like more guidance or coaching please go to my website puresimpleconfidence.com. Here you will find I offer three coaching programs to help you gain confidence. One is a self-study course go at your own pace. I have a monthly coaching program where we focus on one specific area each month. September we will be focusing on bullying and how to manage these difficult relationships and situations. And, if you would like to work with me one to one, I’m available with on-site coaching, skype or facetime sessions. In as little as eight weeks and it doesn’t matter how young or old you are, you can be more confident, secure, and have the love you have always wanted. That love starts with YOU!

While you are on my web site, don’t forget to sign up for Weekly wisdom newsletter where I share a tidbit each week on helping you to choose confidence over insecure thoughts.

Thanks for joining me and I sincerely hope that you will make listening to pure simple confidence a pattern in your life. Remember plant healthy, loving, and caring thoughts and you will harvest a life having great relationships both personally and professionally. Until next time, keep your thoughts pure and simple.